“How was I not supposed to cry?”

I met Paul one morning walking my dog. Paul, noticed my Faces of Santa Ana T-shirt and asked about the painting. He actually just woke up from the grass in our neighborhood prior to meeting me. I described FOSA to him and his face lit up as he asked, “can you paint this ugly face?” I replied, “Yes, but it won’t be ugly, you’re awesome.”

 Paul began to share his story with me after we reached an agreement for him to join the FOSA family. He’s an army veteran that fought in the 100 days war. After returning home, alcoholism gripped his life, and on June 30th, 2003 his wife Robyn died from Lymphoma Cancer. He contemplated visiting her grave tomorrow morning. Paul recounts the experiences of her last days and shared moments that Robyn revealed the nature of her big heart. As she neared death, doctors recommended morphine for her pain. She continually rejected the hallucinogen so she can be fully present to speak to Paul with a sound mind. Paul constantly fought with doctors to inject the morphine but Robyn insisted she bare the pain for her husband. She cherished their last days together. Robyn repeatedly told her husband, “It’s ok, don’t cry Paul”. “How was I not supposed to cry?”, he explained. Deep within Paul’s heart is pain and heartbreak. Alcoholism is not his problem but instead is a symptom of things gone untreated for many years of his life. Praying the Lord begins to heal his wounds as he comes into a season of realizing his true identity. Thank you Paul for serving in our military! Together we are believing for your future and health.